• Sam Box

The Ten Val Commandments.



1. Thou shalt drink ones’ beverage by means of a shoe as a vessel if thou knocketh over ones previous beverage or the beverage of another.


2. Thou shalt not have a gaper gap.


3. Thou shalt pay on demand the sum of one euro to he or she who hath lain (in the biblical sense) with one whom you hath subsequently bedded.


4. Thou shalt never, EVER, traverse a road or pavement with skis on unless thou wisheth to be mocked without mercy on the page of seasonaires.


5. Thou shalt always be clothed in the appropriate attire when thou partakes in Monoskiing. Think glaring and 80s.

6. Thou shalt not asketh for free drinks in any of the fine drinking establishments of this town. Really, just stop.


7. Thou shalt not skieth off piste without the adequate training and equipment. Always be prepared.


8.Thou shalt always remember ones friends on a night out and ne’er let one who hath consumed too much alcohol embark on a journey alone (excepting powder days). Thou shalt ne’er have friends on a powder day


9. Thou shalt not be seen in a photograph with the Val d’Isère sign. If there exists a photograph of this nature, thou art a punter.


10. Thou shalt not litter the mountain with cigarette butts. If thou dost, thou art a feral turd of a human.

(Side note, The Vie Val d’Is provides portable ash trays free of charge at their office in the Maison de Val.)


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