• Caitlin Kennedy

Touched by the Fear

By Millie Shredder



One girl’s tips and tricks for when you’re scared shitless & there’s nowhere else to go but down.


Picture this; I was a young, cocky ski racer, ripping around the mountain like I owned the place. I thought I was the best skier on the mountain; untouchable. Then - BOOM - injury struck. I crashed, badly, and heard the dreaded *pop* of my first ACL tear.


It turned out to be a partial tear, so no surgery required, and I returned to the mountain the following winter excited to be back on the snow. I clipped in no problems, and hopped on the chairlift with my mum. But nothing could have foreshadowed what was about to happen at the top.


It was a green piste; chill, easy - a perfect first-run-of-the-season warm up. But it was at the top of this run that my ski life changed forever. I got hit by The Fear, and I got hit by it hard. I was completely blindsided as I experienced my first ever panic attack. My entire body seized up. I couldn’t breathe or shout and I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me as I watched my mom ski away in front of me. I’d been excited just two seconds before! It was as